loving-kindness: an ancient meditation practice for modern day compassion
summary
In this interview for i Newspaper, David James Lees shares his guidance on loving-kindness meditation practice and its spiritual roots, and explains why it is so relevant in our politically and socially turbulent times.
“…The practice of loving kindness meditation helps you see beyond the ‘physical’ and the human-centred beliefs, opinions or actions of others. You understand that other people are not your adversaries and that at their core they are just like you…”
loving kindness meditation: the history and method
What is the brief history of loving kindness meditation?
There are a lot of misunderstandings about meditation. It is not necessarily a religious practice nor is it about emptying your mind (this is impossible!). Rather, it is about being mentally healthy and learning to control the mind.
Many simple forms of mindful meditation, including loving kindness meditation, are about resisting the busyness of the ‘monkey-mind’ when it becomes critical, comparing and judgemental about yourself and others.
For centuries, the ancient Eastern Buddhists and Taoists have used this form of meditation to balance and harmonise their wandering mind and compassionately self-discipline their negative thinking. They believed that the practice enabled them to reach an alignment with the flow of Universal energy and love, and this remains one of the fundamental goals of any spiritual practice today.
What is loving kindness meditation and why does it work?
Loving kindness meditation is an entirely self-focused (but not selfish) practice.
It begins with calming your racing thoughts and stopping them from projecting forwards into the future or ruminating on the past. You can bring your attention into the present moment by focusing on the movement and flow of your breath or on a candle or indeed anything that holds your attention but does not stimulate it.
Once you have quietened your mind, this allows you to become aware of the greater ‘wholeness’ or ‘oneness’ of who you are.
You reconnect with the truth that you are more than the physicality of your mind and your body. You awaken to the understanding that there is also a part of you that is non-physical or ‘spirit’, and that this, in essence, is pure love.
This vital part of you cannot be damaged by your thoughts, actions, life circumstances or history, but you can disconnect from it, avoid it or disregard it.
The whole point of loving kindness meditation practice is to reconnect to this love within you – that which is always there. Once you have made this connection you to also tap into the broader energy of love, or what the Taoists call Qi (Chi), in the wider Universe or Cosmos.
So, a loving kindness meditation is a form of empathetic practice, first for yourself, and then for your connection to the wider world around you.
Ideally, you should have a mindset of loving kindness all the time – whether at work, rest or play. The reality is that many people struggle to achieve this, so a daily practice for around 10-15 minutes when you have a quiet moment will also bring great benefits.
the importance of kindness, compassion, and empathy today
What does the Tao teach that especially encourages us to act on empathy by engaging in compassionate acts?
Confucius’ ‘Golden Rule’ is apt here: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” – i.e. when you help others you are also helping yourself or when you live every day like a miracle you inspire others to do the same.
So, when you practice any form of self-love, self-care or self-nurturing, including the loving kindness meditation, this means that you are giving to yourself first so that you are better able to give to others.
The Tao teaches that the flow of positive Universal energy and love must pass through and nourish you first before it flows outwards from you in the form of compassion and care for others.
In this cycle, you become the conduit for the flow of love and compassion. This is not unlike a breastfeeding mother feeding her child. She eats well and looks after herself the best she can so she successfully nourish the baby.
The Taoists call this natural cycle of loving compassion: ‘Ch’ang’ (pronounced ‘Chee-ang’). It is also very important to understand that you cannot hold onto or store love or compassion within you – it must flow through you and outwards to others. [buy David’s ‘Ch’ang’ MP3 teaching album here]
Why is compassion between individuals so important, particularly in the politically turbulent times we find ourselves in now?
When people disagree with each other about day to day (or what the Taoists would call ‘human-centred’) issues, such as political and social constructs, they get caught up in the mind’s games of comparing, criticising and being judgemental about themselves and others.
They forget the greater understanding of who they are (the ‘oneness’) and reject the endless source of love and compassion that resides within them and the wider Universe. When this happens, it’s like turning off a tap – they have nothing to give to themselves or others.
The practice of loving kindness helps you see beyond the ‘physical’ and the human-centred beliefs, opinions or actions of others. You understand that other people are not your adversaries and that at their core they are just like you. The term: “in you, I see myself” is relevant here.
When faced with any kind of challenge or conflict with people or circumstances of your life, I would always recommend asking yourself: “Where is the love in this?” This powerful question will help you tap into that greater source of love, kindness and empathy that is always there. It is just waiting patiently for you to reconnect to it. This is the well that never runs dry.
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